Sort of graphic, and very true.

Picture the quintessential middle aged father, overweight and driving a green Ford Windstar. This is the subject of my next recollection.

His name (he said) was Rick Layton but in actuality, his name was Mike. I know his name was Mike because he gave me his cell phone number, and I called it once and got his voice mail, and it said his name was Mike Patterson. He told me later that he chose the alias of "Rick" because it rhymed with "dick" and picked the "Layton" because of the "lay" as in laid, and the "ton" as in gets laid a ton. What an idiot. What an idiot for giving me his cell number too. He was married with 2 kids, and I could've caused him huge problems. Could have, but never did. Men would always give me their numbers, once they find a girl that will do what they want and not be a freaky, cracked out weirdo, they want access. I knew this one girl though, Angel, and she owed a dope dealer all this money, and so she went to one of her dates houses and tied him to a chair, pistol whipped him to get his bank card, and withdrew $7000 from his account. She then got charged with extortion. At least I think it was extortion. After all that she STILL got her ass beat by the dealer.

I will be quick to tell the beginning of the story cause it is the second half that is truly alarming. The first time "Rick" picked me up, it was on a regular day, during a normal person's work hours. We went to some random parking lot or side street. I had to kneel on the floor in front of my seat and feed into his sick fantasy. We never had intercourse, ever, I would just have to go on and on about how I was sooo young and innocent as he jerked off. I told him I was 17. He actually believed me, I have always looked young for my age anyways, but I guess my backpack and running shoes, complete with the pigtails made it more effective. My cover was blown one time though, when as he was driving me back to where he got me from he asked me about my family, and I said I had a sister that was 31, and that she was 5 years older than me. Which would have made me 26. Didn't matter to him though.

He never paid very well either, but since I never had to take my clothes off really, or had to have sex with him, it was an easy date. He seemed harmless enough, and sometimes he would even take me to a drive thru (and pay) or something after.

On one occasion things got pretty creepy. He had notified me that his wife and his 2 children would be going out of town for a weekend, and that he would like me to come to his house, and of course he would pay me extra. One of the cardinal rules of picking up prostitutes is to NOT bring them to your house, but whatever. It wasn't my house, not my wife, etc. No worries for me.

One night we had arranged to meet and go to his house. He had me lie down in the back of his minivan so I couldn't see where he lived. He was paranoid that I would come back there and rip him off or something. I guess it was smart on his part, but I never would have done that anyways. It would have been too time consuming.

We went into his house and as usual he had this whole deranged and sexually perverse role play scripted out for us. He always had these small bits of paper that he would scribble things down on, things for me to say, things for me to pretend,to act out, etc. This time was no different.

First I had to have a shower, which was fine, I like having showers. He didn't watch me or anything, he just waited patiently in his family room. After the shower I had to put on his daughter's nightgown (I still feel weird about this when I think about it. His daughter was 12 or something, and he was such a pervert. He would always tell me about her friends and how he had to stop wearing jogging pants because he would get erections when they were around). Then, as he watched a porno in the family room, I was to walk out of her bedroom, and ask him what he was doing. What he was doing was masturbating to a porno, and he would have to explain this to me. Then I would tell him that I wanted to try to masturbate him to the aforementioned porno.

It was tough even for me to pull this off. It would have been fine to have just your basic role playing, but wearing his daughter's nightgown, him being my "Dad" and all that was too much. But I did it, and it still gives me the shivers when I think about it.

Afterwards, he paid me, took me back and that was that. He did get a pay back from good old karma though. He ended up getting fired from his job at a car lot, and had to start delivering pizza's. He didn't even tell his wife that he lost his job right away either. He had to though, after a while. He worked for $2 per delivery, plus tips.

I sort of felt guilty taking his money after he lost his car dealership job, especially when he would have to pay me with 15 two dollar coins that he made from being a pizza delivery guy. But I didn't feel guilty enough to not take his money. I felt bad more for his family than anything.

Guys pick up prostitutes for some f$#@ed up stuff. I had this fire fighting, helicopter pilot pick me up on a regular basis, took me to his house and pay me do him in the behind with this huge black strap on. He loved it and he always paid really well. I remember, his name was Ken, and he was 100% heterosexual. I guess it is comforting to these guys that we can't really judge them, whereas their wives would probably freak out if they knew their husband's desired sexual exploits.

I had this guy named Robin pick me up one late weekend night. He took me to Stanley Park, and paid me to let him ejaculate into my shoe. There was this guy Alec that had a thing for vegetables, and then there was this guy that had a serious pantyhose fetish, and kept them in his trunk to fondle whenever he picked me up.