Survival Tactic No. 112 (Thugs on a Doorstep)

I JUST REALLY LOVE THIS PICTURE

As much as I tried to remain the Switzerland of the downtown scene (as in "neutral") sometimes things cannot be avoided. I generally kept to myself to a certain extent - but it is difficult not to get noticed going and repeatedly buying dope in front of those people that have no money, those individuals that are always jonesing or those that resort to underhanded tactics at getting their own habit satiated. I have mentioned the term "jacked up". It is a broad term and it is a constant hazard and part of life down there.

There were certain loss preventative measures I took to try to minimize the damage I would suffer when this type of thing would occur. I was not a fighter though - so my methods were to only get out of the situation as quickly as possible, without getting beat up or without allowing myself to remain on someone's list as a constant and fruitful target.

There was this couple, Star and Kenny. Both total dope addicts - heroin and cocaine - they were a nightmare for me. Not so much him but her for sure. I tried to avoid Star at all costs but downtown Vancouver's red zone is a small area and paths do cross.

It was late at night and I am sure the street was Alexander...which is a street that I generally would not go down unless it could not be avoided. Daytime wasn't so bad, it was still threatening - but everything is less scary during the daylight hours. I usually never went on the other side of Oppenheimer Park..but, if that was where the dope was and since it was closer to the area where I worked, I sometimes resorted to making my purchases there. This indecent I am sharing wasn't in the safety of daylight, it was in the foreboding and witching time of darkness.

There was one of the rooming houses that had a dope selling room set up. Let me try to explain this to you, even the people that were supposed to be running the rooming house seemed to be in on it. I am talking a line up like in a grocery store, a room door open, a table and chair set up in the door, a metal box for the money and the dope inside the room. Scale, razor blade for cutting the crack rocks, etc. Like a friggen' lemonade stand. These sort of set ups were generally short lived because they would obviously get busted or they would get robbed or something like that. The benefit was that by buying your dope there you could usually get someone to let you do your dope (shoot up chill out whatever) in their room for a very small price, sometimes for nothing if they had their own dope or they didn't care, etc., so it was relatively comfortable (you could also sneak into one of the bathrooms or the stairwell and do your fix in there too). I already mentioned that another benefit was proximity to the stroll. Another reason for my patronage of such places was that it was semi private. When you buy dope out in the open there is a thousand junkies that have no money and that are hurting as hell that see you buying dope and then accost you for even a tiny bit of what you have purchased or they beg you for anything to help them out. It is easy enough to deal with but when you are someone like me that makes money continuously throughout the day it gets tiring and irritating and it is something to be avoided. Such was the reason why I was going to buy from this particular rooming house.

It was dark. It was late. I turned the corner onto Alexander St and walked right into Star and Kenny. Star was exactly what you would think about a bully from grade school. I was the geek and she was the tough girl profiled in all those teen after-school specials. Kenny was a prick too but he was like her whipping boy and never bugged me unless she was around. She was a total tomboy, she must have been about 18 years old. Looked kind of like a grubby skater chick. Definitely good looking in her own right.

So I round the corner and there they are sitting on the steps of the building right next to the building where I am going to buy my dope. At first they didn't see me and I made the mistake of assuming that they were perhaps in a docile mood and I asked if anyone (there were a couple other acquaintances on the steps as well) had any rigs for sale. Up jump Star and Kenny.

She walks right up to me and demands that I give her my money and before I had a chance to even protest or give in, Kenny had my head slammed back by pulling my ponytail and forcing me into a very unnatural and helpless angle. I said all I had was ten bucks and it was in my pocket. At this time the other people are telling them to let me go and all that good citizen crap but of course no one actually steps in. Even the guy that had been trying to hump me for months that was manning the door at the dope selling rooming house was watching what was going on and he did nothing. Not that I expected rescue but still it just goes to show what cowards people are (not that I would have jumped in).

She pulls the ten bucks out of my pocket and screams that she knows I have more money and where is it???!!! At this point I am almost out of breath because of how Kenny has me by my ponytail and I manage to get out that there is another ten bucks in my underwear. Of course, she is not deterred by this and sticks her dirty hand down the front of my underwear and finds the ten dollar bill. Kenny then lets me go and I run into the dope selling rooming house. The idiot that was watching the door says "oh - I didn't even know it was you". As if. The thing is-on rare occasion I did have a select few people stick up for me during my time down there. They stuck up for me because I was nice and I did help people out and I wasn't a total selfish bitch and generally there was no need to manhandle me - I had good victim mentality. I will do what you say - just don't hurt me kind of thing. If Kenny and Star had just demanded my money I probably would have handed it over without too much struggle. Plus, there was always more money to be made for me, unless I was super dope sick, then it sucked to get jacked up (well, getting jacked up always sucked, don't get me wrong) but generally I could go make more $$ anyways. This time though, like other times I was way ahead of these wanna be thugs that thought they were getting me good. They didn't get all my money because I NEVER kept all off my money in the same place.

Sure, Star got her hands on twenty bucks - which isn't even that much when is had to be split between her and her boyfriend. I still had another sixty bucks on me. I had twenty in each of my socks..but underneath my heels and I had another twenty somewhere else clever..in some ripped open secret pocket of my bag I think.

This is what I am saying..you have to plan ahead. I had certain things I did to survive...even as a dope addict you have to be prepared for things like that. If they had gotten all my money then I basically had just ******** some loser guy for free, and that so wasn't cool. So I won, Star and Kenny. I won. Sure I lost twenty but it wasn't twenty that I couldn't afford to lose at that moment.

Star still f*cked me over a couple times after that though. She caught me doing a toke in a doorway one time and I had a huge rock at my feet. She took it but didn't take the whole thing - she just broke it in half (that BITCH!) and gave me back the other half. That happened to me every so often, and not just by her. Sometimes it is unavoidable and you get busted by an jerk off w/ your dope in your hands and are forced to share because they muscle you, no matter how small the amount and that totally sucks.

The last time I saw Star she came up to me and asked me politely for a toke (I hate that word - but it is what it is called). I was in a fine mood and I agreed. I never made like I was totally frightened by her even though I was. I acted like I was just doing doing her a favor. During our mutual cocaine consumption she told me that she was leaving town in a few hours, that her family was coming for her and that she was going to get clean. She was totally freaking out about it, it was obvious by her demeanor. Getting clean is scary, I will give her that - and she had reason to be nervous. Then she actually apologized for being such a c*** to me over the past few years and that was that.

I have no idea what happened to her but I know what happened to me. I won. And continue to win.

The Viking and her husband

Life is too fast for a proof read, but I promise I will do it tomorrow. You know you can trust me.

As I have mentioned, there are various ways to make money as a dope addict. Some girls choose not to work the street in the same way as I, but would rather sell dope for the Spanish or whoever. The dope peddlers never sell their own "wares". They give it to the junkies to sell for them that way they (the dope peddlers) don't go to jail, the junkies do. The dope man has no problem finding another hurting individual as a replacement, but still the dope man may still end up in jail sometimes though. I remember being so bummed when I was told that one of them had been deported back to Mexico. Lame, his dope was good.

I mainly worked the street yes, but sometimes I worked work for a dope dealer, but rarely. It would have to have been a super gross day out, no men cruising so I would have no way of making money. I can only remember working for 3 specific people. 1 of them I worked for a number of times and the others I think maybe just once. I didn't want to sell because I was afraid I would get busted and have to detox in jail. I had this image in my head of them throwing me into a cell and just hosing me down every 4 hours, to clean up the barf and the other bodily fluids. I remember being in my methadone clinic and seeing various individual in major distress begging the clinic to give them a prescription because they were going to jail the next day. The clinic can't do that though. They have to apply on behalf of the individual and get approval before putting someone on methadone. Methadone is considered a last resort.

Oh, as an aside I will mention something else. I had this "friend" and his name was Paul. He worked the intersections cleaning windshields and panhandling. (so remember, they can say they need money for food- but more than likely they have some sort of habit to maintain). It is funny because I remember meeting some guys that would cruise and they would be all irritating and say "I just feel bad giving you money to support your addiction". GET OVER IT. It was none of their business what I did w/ my money if I earned it. Let me do my job or move on. Guys would even offer to buy you a meal or something for some sexual act...AS IF. Yeah, I was starving but I wasn't about to have sex w/ someone for FOOD. Geez.

ANYWAYS, (sorry I get sidetracked) my friend Paul told me that he had a very healthy habit and had been using for a long time. We were talking about kicking in jail and he told me that in his experience the cops had reasons for where they placed the people detoxing. He said one time he had been intentionally put in a cell w/ a little Asian kid that had been busted for selling heroin, a kid that had no idea what he was doing by selling dope. And Paul would be so sick and almost dead...and this kid would have to watch. I think this is funny. Maybe it isn't... but it is to me, and that is all that matters.

As I was saying I did do the odd dope slingin'. There was one guy that I guess I worked for about 5 or 6 times. Only in the daytime not at night. He was really nice. His dope wasn't the best but it was all right. He was one that I had been w/ (date) once or twice, so we had a different relationship than he would have w/ other people that worked for him. I wasn't afraid of anyone after I did a date w/ them. I could just go tell their amigos. They always tried to be very stealth about hooking up w/ one of us, even though they all did it. Idiots.

When I worked for him I would get paid in dope and maybe a bit of money if I asked for it. I also was allowed to do his dope while I worked - w/in reason. I remember more than once though doing so much of his dope that I told him to not even pay me, but he always would. He even let me go do a date w/ a regular while I was working for him if one showed up as long as I didn't take too long. I never stole his money and I was relatively honest. People I that I knew would come up to me and try to get me to front them or try to trick me and give me bills all rolled up tight and expect me to just hand them the dope and then by the time I counted it, they would be gone. I always counted it before though. This scamming is to be expected-it is how people survive.

Another individual I had worked for maybe twice. He only sold crack whereas the one I mentioned above sold all 3 (coke/heroin/crack or up/down/powder - as it was referred to out there). His dope was pretty good and seemed harmless enough. He wasn't a big time seller. He would only come out for a couple hours, sell a hundred or so pieces and then go. I could just ask him if I could do some and he would usually say yes. But his rocks were so big that I used to break them in half so he had no idea how much I was doing. He didn't pay great but I got to do dope and he was nice enough.

The third dope man that I had worked for was a couple, husband and wife. He was very short - shorter than me. SHE was the opposite. I swear she was about 7 feet tall and built like a viking w/out the muscles. It looked honestly like he should have been afraid of her, she was very intimidating. I never ever bought dope from them from what I remember-I never did for some reason. They knew me from the street though.

It was raining and gross, I was sick as a dog, it was cold (well, I was cold, who knows if it really was) and it was early evening on Friday. I was at the corner of Hastings and Gore just walking around the block and needing something to happen. They ended up parking their car right near where I was and casually asked me if I wanted to work for them. I agreed only on the condition that they would give me money to get well. They did..ten bucks...which helped in no way.

They paid very badly. Not only did I have to keep tons of dope in my socks...I also had to hold all this money which they would collect from me every hour or so. I think I was going to be paid a 5 rocks. For the whole job. Not even allowed to smoke while I worked. Very cruel but I still did it.

I worked for about an hour and then one of my regulars drove up and had pulled over near me and immediately I want to bail on the dope selling. I went up to the husband/wife (there were lots of husband/wife teams selling dope. I remember this one that was like 8 months pregnant while selling) and asked them if I could jump in this person's car and sell them some dope. I said I knew them and could vouch for them. That was a big deal down there - if you "vouched" for someone and they turned out to be an idiot or a heat score or whatever, it was YOUR ass that "they" would come after.

I didn't really have a plan for what I was going to do, I just knew I was sick and needed to get well. So, I left w/ the guy and never went back. I think I had $20 and 5 rocks.. They had just collected the money from me, thankfully. I went and did the date and made myself well and then totally panicked. I was stressing. I never really ripped anyone off before. Sure the odd date I would take advantage of in some way but it wasn't all the time. These dope sellers were serious people. I was just a junkie to them and they would have no problem beating the sh*t out of me. Plus, they would be in no hurry to find me because they knew. I would have to come back eventually, everyone always did.

Now I had to be hyper vigilant about scouting the crowd and watching the sidewalks for the people I had stolen from. It sucked. One time I had let my guard down and wasn't paying attention and walked right into the viking wife woman. She was hanging w/ this junkie who was keeping six for her or something. Her husband was on the other side of the street and she was watching him work I guess. She saw me before I saw her, and right away she was on me. Not her, but the junkie w/ her - and that junkie jumped right on me after being instructed to do so by the viking. I had no idea what was going to happen.

So, "wife" is telling this other girl to kick me, search me, and punch me in the head. They took my dope (which was hardly anything) and even though the wife was telling this other girl "enough, enough" she kept going. When she finally stopped assaulting me I was torn and my stuff was all over (they had helped herself to whatever she wanted out of my bag - this is something that happens all the time...girls will regularly mug other girls by demanding to look through their stuff and then would take whatever was worth anything. Getting "jacked up" was what it was called). The wife/beast then told me that this was my warning and I better get her her money or...it would be bad.

I still had to avoid this woman because no junkie ever thinks they have enough money to pay a substantial debt with. I was so scared of her I didn't even want to offer just a payment over time, I would only go to her if I had it all.

A week or so passes, and I am w/ this one guy that I usually spent the weekend w/ (he got paid once a week, and we would buy a BUNCH of dope and just get high for 2 days..he always spent all of his money. Sometimes he wouldn't even have gas to get to work the following week..he worked in the film industry. I didn't feel bad about it, he would spend the money on crack regardless) and he noticed that I was totally preoccupied and honed in and asked me what was wrong and what was going on. I told him about how frightened I was and how I got beat up and all that. He asked me how much money and I told him about fifty bucks and he saidhe would give it to me. Him and I really were friends...for the most part (besides the whole hiring me for sex and drugs weekends).

I had to explain to him that I was even too scared to actually go up to her to pay her. I said he had to give it to her while I waited in the car. He did it.

About a week later her husband said to me "thank you for the money, MEE HA", whatever that means, my spelling is only going buy the sound of the word. And that was it, it was over.

I was still afraid of her..I shudder to think about her. I never sold dope for anyone again.

If all this makes me seem like a pussy then so be it. I never I said I wasn't a pussy.