Thursday, January 28, 2010

I know you like the perverted posts better.


I met this guy...his name was Kevin or Mike or Dave or Jim or something. He had a name, that much I know. He was middle aged..maybe 40+ normal guy, had a family...wife..nice car and was a regular date of another girl. She and I were never very close...but often guys want to pick up more than one girl..and if you agree to do it you need to be choosy because lots of the girls are gross and dirty and weird. She was hot...clean "looking", wore glasses..looked normal. She had this regular date and they picked me as their third one day. (This is not my only experience w/ a man/woman...I am making a mental note to write a post about the others. But this time was different as it was a prostitute picking up another prostitute. It wasn't a bf/gf or husband/wife team looking for a weekend "experiment". And for the record...when it is a bf/gf, husband/wife combo one of them always seems to want it more than the other and it can get sort of tense).

This post is not about the encounter w/ the girl and her regular though... this is just how I met this guy, this other girl's client. She ended up getting pregnant and since we (he and I) had met through her..I became his choice by default during her pregnancy. Pregnancy can be a big money maker - but eventually it is full term and she has to HAVE the baby..).

I used to work all over. My home base was East Van but I also worked the track on Kingsway...New West..wherever. I have even walked back lanes in the suburbs looking for a place to do my wack and had guys stick their heads out their house/apt window and ask for "service". It happens all the time...men are very opportunistic...as are the girls they hire.

It was a Friday night...late and I had just entered the 7/11 on Kingsway and Joyce. I had seen this young guy follow me for a while. He was circling the block and making eye contact w/ me but seemed nervous about how to approach. Usually I would make it easy on them...but this night I had money..I had dope...so I wasn't going to go out of my way to get the date, I didn't need to.

I go into the store expecting him to park his car in the lot and wait for me to come out. BUT in walks this guy Mike/Jim whatever his name is guy. Let's call him "Anyguy". He walks up to me fast and tells me he had seen me and noticed this other guy circling and wanted to to get to me first. Oh okay..I was always ready for someone I already knew than someone I didn't. Anyguy asked me for a ****** for $XX and I said yes, so we went to some random locale and did the date.

At the end of the date he tells me something him and his old girl "Kim" (I have mentioned her before I think) used to do. Since she was indisposed due to pregnancy he decides that I am the one to indulge his fantasies until she returns (which she did eventually...baby or no).

He tells me he wants to take me to a porno movie theater, one of the super seedy ones on Main Street..it was the "Kitten" or "Foxtrot" theater I think. Fine, I say, no problem..I have been there before. Often enough guys get a girl, buy a bunch of dope and rent the private room they have there that has its own TV w/ the movie playing. It is a gross room but there is a couch and chairs in it and as I said there is a TV..but it is a tiny TV. We can do drugs in there all day. It is $30 bucks for a few hours I think. Or it was...who knows now w/ inflation). But Anyguy didn't want to do dope and wasn't really interested in even having sex w/ me. He only ever hired me for ******** anyways.

He told me that he wanted to take me to the theater and have us go sit in the movie seats and then he would pay me to lean over and give him "oral pleasure" (as it is referred to in Pulp Fiction) and then for every guy that came up to me that wanted the same..I would get paid by the guy receiving but then Anyguy would also pay me for each man I pleasured.

This was a great idea for him and his old date (Kim) because she would get paid twice and the potential is there to make a ton of money in a short time. Guys are so creepy and excited in those places and even just seeing what I was doing would make them come and sit near us. They have no shame...I was always the only woman in the theater. It really isn't a place where a woman would want to go normally, at least I wouldn't.

Anyguy also wanted me to wear easy access clothing like sweat pants in case some guys wanted "full service". This is where I had to say no. I can't really explain to you why I wasn't into it but I wasn't. Oral sex, no problem..but not intercourse. I agreed on my terms to what he was proposing and we did it shortly there after.

It was so easy..I made a ton of money...and I was only there for about an hour (which was long enough). I didn't get w/ a huge number of men..when we did this it was a Wednesday afternoon or something.

I only went there w/ this particular individual once..and this was the last time I did a date w/ him at all. I guess I wasn't sleazy enough for him, who knows and who cares. Sure I was a prostitute but everyone has things w/in their comfort zone. On the outside it must sound ridiculous that I had a line that could not be crossed but it is true (but there are exceptions - desperate times call for desperate measures some times). Even when I DID return to the Kitten theater just to do dope in a private room w/ a date... I would be approached by men. When I would leave the room to use the washroom guys in the lobby would brazenly come up to me and ask me to go down on them in the theater...for money of course. I could leave the private room for 5 minutes and come back feeling relieved in the urinary sense and $60 richer in the monetary sense.

Someone asked me the other day if I would ever go back or do I worry that I might ever be broke and to resort to that method (selling sex) of money making again. I said "no". It is not something that a rational person does. Sure I remember how easy it was to make money, but as I said...people do things like that for various reasons..reasons that have no bearing on my life now.

I HAVE committed many disgraceful acts for money in the past...but I won't anymore. That is just how it is and I don't need to explain myself.

Monday, January 25, 2010

You don't need shoes to run




When I was out "there" I did have friends and family that would come search me out. One of my high school friends would come out every so often. I would hear from other working girls "there is some super drunk girl driving around in a cab asking for you". Ha...I thought for sure it was some one's wife that had found out about her husband's sexual escapades.

But yeah, people came out and looked for me. Rescue attempts maybe. One girl I knew from the coffee shop I worked at came and found me one day...I would ask them for money or whatever (I know it is lame but I did it) and she just offered me some f*cking carrots. Carrots?? Are you kidding me? Sure it was nice that people cared but unless they had some money to throw in..I had no time for them. Everyone had the same rules. I remember my Dad coming down one day and he wanted to take me home and I said I wasn't going unless he gave me some money. So he did, but he didn't make that mistake more than a few times. I was using him and he knew it.

The reason I mention this is because one time when he came out to find out if I was still alive we were walking down Hastings together and passing various random dope addicts. He would actually walk into the jungle w/ me and go w/ me to whatever dope dealer I was looking for and everything. And this one time we were approached by about 4 different people asking us if we needed a room. Awesome...I was like "NO, that is my Dad!" but they wouldn't believe me. My Dad was like "What did they say?" and I explained that the "person" was asking us if we needed a room in order to do a date. Gross, but you can't blame them for asking...I did dates w/ men my Dad's age all the time.

So yes, he would come find me...pick me up...buy me drugs and take me back to his house..and we would ration out my dope but it never lasted...I was on methadone and then he would buy me a bunch of dope that was supposed to last me a week. BUT...that was a bad situation. Trying to get a dope addict to go from doing a bunch of dope daily to just doing just a bit of dope daily (after my Dad got home from work I would get it) was awful. It is like quitting smoking. You will never quit smoking if you still smoke one cigarette a day...you need to go cold turkey or you just end up prolonging your agony. I also had no intention of quitting..I was only there because he wanted me there. I have said a million times that I would way rather to just be left alone to make money and get high than even attempt getting straightened out.

What was even more difficult was that my Step mum (I love you Step mummy, but this really was an issue for me) decided that I was being lazy or something and rather than be a vegetable until my Dad got home from work...she decided that I needed to keep busy w/ a friggen chore list. Awful awful awful. Not that I hate chores but it was all I could do to even stay in the house everyday. The first thing an addict thinks about when they get up is dope. I would get up....go sit in front of the TV, twitching my leg...begging the clock to go faster. After about an hour and a half I could maybe chill out enough to have a shower or something. It wasn't that I wanted to do nothing but I was a zombie..all I could think about was drugs. That is IT. So, I get the chore list.

On my list was washing the floor...emptying dishwasher...washing the patio doors!! I was so mad. Needless to say the chore list lasted about 48 hrs. When I was "cleaning the patio doors" I actually just went outside and left my cleaning supplies on the grass and jumped the fence in my slippers. Oh, I forgot to mention that my parents had taken away my shoes since I was prone to running. But I didn't need shoes...once my mind was made up, it was made up.

They took my shoes...they also had the house alarm on constantly...so even if I opened the door I had about a 30 second head start. They only started the alarm thing though when I took out the garbage and never came back and after I went to use the washroom during the hockey game (who cares, as if I want to watch hockey) and instead walked right out the door. I only ever set the alarm off once though. I think. It was super late at night..I had arranged for some one to go all the way out towards my Parent's house and just left them a note at the top pf the stairs apologizing for being such an ungrateful child (at least I think that is what it said..but it may have said..don't worry but I gotta get high.. dope and prostituting myself is more important than anything you could ever do for me). It is weird how a sane person can become a person w/ no conscience. And now I have a conscience again, and that is fine...because I may have sold my soul more than once...but I do have values..and I am entitled to them.

One time I was even so "angsting" out that my Step mum (who is about 5 feet tall) parked a chair in front of the door so I couldn't get out. We still laugh about this because she is a tiny woman and she did not let me get out that day. She actually wore me down, we had a physical confrontation and everything. But after about an hour I was tired and the craving had passed.

Note: Cravings seemed to come in waves for me. When it is full on it feels like the only you can do is get high, find a way to get high or work on getting money to get high. BUT...the craving does pass even though at the time it feels never ending. It won't last forever..but you will survive.

The whole parental rescue didn't last long, in case you were wondering. You can only do so much to help people..don't exhaust yourself trying to do so. It is a waste. If anyone tried to do an intervention on me I would have walked away. Any bottom line they could have offered me was already lost years before.

I can't even imagine how this all felt for my parents. Knowing that I was doing what I was doing..had no shame...didn't care about anything. Weird. People can talk about legalization of prostitution and all that but it will never happen. There will always be the diseased ridden, mentally ill, super f*cked up girls that work the back alleys and do dates in cars. Yeah, it isn't safe out there for these women...but it is almost like you sign an imaginary waiver when you start. The risk is just part of the job. We are the "crab fisherman" (ever watch the Discovery channel?) of society's lower rung.

I was talking to my counselor yesterday and she told me that I obviously DO have a work ethic because I preferred to work the street and earn my money "honestly" rather than going boosting or whatever. Haha...awesome...for a drug addicted street prostitute I had a great work ethic. I should put that on my resume.




Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Viking and her husband


Life is too fast for a proof read, but I promise I will do it tomorrow. You know you can trust me.

As I have mentioned, there are various ways to make money as a dope addict. Some girls choose not to work the street in the same way as I, but would rather sell dope for the Spanish or whoever. The dope peddlers never sell their own "wares". They give it to the junkies to sell for them that way they (the dope peddlers) don't go to jail, the junkies do. The dope man has no problem finding another hurting individual as a replacement, but still the dope man may still end up in jail sometimes though. I remember being so bummed when I was told that one of them had been deported back to Mexico. Lame, his dope was good.

I mainly worked the street yes, but sometimes I worked work for a dope dealer, but rarely. It would have to have been a super gross day out, no men cruising so I would have no way of making money. I can only remember working for 3 specific people. 1 of them I worked for a number of times and the others I think maybe just once. I didn't want to sell because I was afraid I would get busted and have to detox in jail. I had this image in my head of them throwing me into a cell and just hosing me down every 4 hours, to clean up the barf and the other bodily fluids. I remember being in my methadone clinic and seeing various individual in major distress begging the clinic to give them a prescription because they were going to jail the next day. The clinic can't do that though. They have to apply on behalf of the individual and get approval before putting someone on methadone. Methadone is considered a last resort.

Oh, as an aside I will mention something else. I had this "friend" and his name was Paul. He worked the intersections cleaning windshields and panhandling. (so remember, they can say they need money for food- but more than likely they have some sort of habit to maintain). It is funny because I remember meeting some guys that would cruise and they would be all irritating and say "I just feel bad giving you money to support your addiction". GET OVER IT. It was none of their business what I did w/ my money if I earned it. Let me do my job or move on. Guys would even offer to buy you a meal or something for some sexual act...AS IF. Yeah, I was starving but I wasn't about to have sex w/ someone for FOOD. Geez.

ANYWAYS, (sorry I get sidetracked) my friend Paul told me that he had a very healthy habit and had been using for a long time. We were talking about kicking in jail and he told me that in his experience the cops had reasons for where they placed the people detoxing. He said one time he had been intentionally put in a cell w/ a little Asian kid that had been busted for selling heroin, a kid that had no idea what he was doing by selling dope. And Paul would be so sick and almost dead...and this kid would have to watch. I think this is funny. Maybe it isn't... but it is to me, and that is all that matters.

As I was saying I did do the odd dope slingin'. There was one guy that I guess I worked for about 5 or 6 times. Only in the daytime not at night. He was really nice. His dope wasn't the best but it was all right. He was one that I had been w/ (date) once or twice, so we had a different relationship than he would have w/ other people that worked for him. I wasn't afraid of anyone after I did a date w/ them. I could just go tell their amigos. They always tried to be very stealth about hooking up w/ one of us, even though they all did it. Idiots.

When I worked for him I would get paid in dope and maybe a bit of money if I asked for it. I also was allowed to do his dope while I worked - w/in reason. I remember more than once though doing so much of his dope that I told him to not even pay me, but he always would. He even let me go do a date w/ a regular while I was working for him if one showed up as long as I didn't take too long. I never stole his money and I was relatively honest. People I that I knew would come up to me and try to get me to front them or try to trick me and give me bills all rolled up tight and expect me to just hand them the dope and then by the time I counted it, they would be gone. I always counted it before though. This scamming is to be expected-it is how people survive.

Another individual I had worked for maybe twice. He only sold crack whereas the one I mentioned above sold all 3 (coke/heroin/crack or up/down/powder - as it was referred to out there). His dope was pretty good and seemed harmless enough. He wasn't a big time seller. He would only come out for a couple hours, sell a hundred or so pieces and then go. I could just ask him if I could do some and he would usually say yes. But his rocks were so big that I used to break them in half so he had no idea how much I was doing. He didn't pay great but I got to do dope and he was nice enough.

The third dope man that I had worked for was a couple, husband and wife. He was very short - shorter than me. SHE was the opposite. I swear she was about 7 feet tall and built like a viking w/out the muscles. It looked honestly like he should have been afraid of her, she was very intimidating. I never ever bought dope from them from what I remember-I never did for some reason. They knew me from the street though.

It was raining and gross, I was sick as a dog, it was cold (well, I was cold, who knows if it really was) and it was early evening on Friday. I was at the corner of Hastings and Gore just walking around the block and needing something to happen. They ended up parking their car right near where I was and casually asked me if I wanted to work for them. I agreed only on the condition that they would give me money to get well. They did..ten bucks...which helped in no way.

They paid very badly. Not only did I have to keep tons of dope in my socks...I also had to hold all this money which they would collect from me every hour or so. I think I was going to be paid a 5 rocks. For the whole job. Not even allowed to smoke while I worked. Very cruel but I still did it.

I worked for about an hour and then one of my regulars drove up and had pulled over near me and immediately I want to bail on the dope selling. I went up to the husband/wife (there were lots of husband/wife teams selling dope. I remember this one that was like 8 months pregnant while selling) and asked them if I could jump in this person's car and sell them some dope. I said I knew them and could vouch for them. That was a big deal down there - if you "vouched" for someone and they turned out to be an idiot or a heat score or whatever, it was YOUR ass that "they" would come after.

I didn't really have a plan for what I was going to do, I just knew I was sick and needed to get well. So, I left w/ the guy and never went back. I think I had $20 and 5 rocks.. They had just collected the money from me, thankfully. I went and did the date and made myself well and then totally panicked. I was stressing. I never really ripped anyone off before. Sure the odd date I would take advantage of in some way but it wasn't all the time. These dope sellers were serious people. I was just a junkie to them and they would have no problem beating the sh*t out of me. Plus, they would be in no hurry to find me because they knew. I would have to come back eventually, everyone always did.

Now I had to be hyper vigilant about scouting the crowd and watching the sidewalks for the people I had stolen from. It sucked. One time I had let my guard down and wasn't paying attention and walked right into the viking wife woman. She was hanging w/ this junkie who was keeping six for her or something. Her husband was on the other side of the street and she was watching him work I guess. She saw me before I saw her, and right away she was on me. Not her, but the junkie w/ her - and that junkie jumped right on me after being instructed to do so by the viking. I had no idea what was going to happen.

So, "wife" is telling this other girl to kick me, search me, and punch me in the head. They took my dope (which was hardly anything) and even though the wife was telling this other girl "enough, enough" she kept going. When she finally stopped assaulting me I was torn and my stuff was all over (they had helped herself to whatever she wanted out of my bag - this is something that happens all the time...girls will regularly mug other girls by demanding to look through their stuff and then would take whatever was worth anything. Getting "jacked up" was what it was called). The wife/beast then told me that this was my warning and I better get her her money or...it would be bad.

I still had to avoid this woman because no junkie ever thinks they have enough money to pay a substantial debt with. I was so scared of her I didn't even want to offer just a payment over time, I would only go to her if I had it all.

A week or so passes, and I am w/ this one guy that I usually spent the weekend w/ (he got paid once a week, and we would buy a BUNCH of dope and just get high for 2 days..he always spent all of his money. Sometimes he wouldn't even have gas to get to work the following week..he worked in the film industry. I didn't feel bad about it, he would spend the money on crack regardless) and he noticed that I was totally preoccupied and honed in and asked me what was wrong and what was going on. I told him about how frightened I was and how I got beat up and all that. He asked me how much money and I told him about fifty bucks and he saidhe would give it to me. Him and I really were friends...for the most part (besides the whole hiring me for sex and drugs weekends).

I had to explain to him that I was even too scared to actually go up to her to pay her. I said he had to give it to her while I waited in the car. He did it.

About a week later her husband said to me "thank you for the money, MEE HA", whatever that means, my spelling is only going buy the sound of the word. And that was it, it was over.
I was still afraid of her..I shudder to think about her. I never sold dope for anyone again.

If all this makes me seem like a pussy then so be it. I never I said I wasn't a pussy.



Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Those crazy junkies




Not everything is a story, just a memory.

When I was first out on the street I didn't realize that I was making the transition from ME, into a full fledged prostitute. One day I went to buy dope at Carnegie, and one of the Spanish dope dealers was asking me about "work". I was totally confused. Then, I started thinking he wanted to go on an actual date w/ me. THEN, I figured it out and said no. I hadn't had any sexual dealings w/ any of the dope sellers yet, I didn't know that I was gonna be paid in dope and all that. So naive, tsk, tsk.

Of course, before long I had managed to knock them out one by one. But never him, and he was the best looking one. I never did dates with ones that sold the shitty dope. I would have rather give a hummer to a stranger that picked me up, get paid and buy good dope. The dealer's w/ the bad dope were like the B crew. The good dope sellers were the "A crew".

The A crew paid very well too and were always in a hurry. Usually they would pay for a room and the date would be done in ten minutes. He would pay me with bunch of dope, a bit of money then I would get the room for the rest of the hour. Though, I will admit I have done many things (things my Father would not approve of) in some back alley doorways. (Yeah, it is intense but that is what happens). Then once you go w/ one of them, they discuss it w/ their amigos and suddenly your dance card is filled.

_____________

I had acquaintances or "friends' (not friends at all) that I would hang w/ in passing during mutual alley way drug consumption, or just on the street on a curb somewhere. I mean, you do hang out w/ people. It is very much a social scene. You may go to someone's room to eat, to get a rig, etc. You do end up spending time w/ people, some days more than others. But it was CRAZY on welfare day. I wasn't actually ON welfare, though I could have been. I had no interest in something that would take so much of my time, having to find some ID, and all the hoops you must jump through in order to receive it.

Welfare day was like Mardis Gras but it only lasted a day. Even the hurting individuals hire girls to have sex, but it would never happen. They and I would do their dope, they would get weird and then it was over. I hated taking their money because I always knew what was gonna happen. This one time I was "hired" by this guy that was in a wheel chair. He looks exactly like Lieutenant Dan from Forest Gump. He got more money from the gov't cause he had disability, and he had bought tons of dope and then just wanted to hang out. You would think that it would be a good date (sometimes being naked may be a part of it- but I wouldn't have to do much else). It was really sad being around those type people. Their lives must be all about that one day a month. Most of the hotels won't allow visitors in rooms on that day beause of the dope doing. I often wonder how one can be considered an addict when they only use once a month. I know they must have used more but it would not have been a lot.


But the thing is... if the person not on disability had a room then their rent portion went straight to their landlord and they were left w/ about $180. If they were homeless they got only their shelter portion and that is it. Again, $180. It was so sad, their money would be gone very quickly and they wouldn't buy or anything else besides dope. The dope sellers would set up shop RIGHT OUTSIDE the cheque cashing place so the masses had no chance of even trying to keep the money for anything else. That used to piss me off. Come on you prick dope sellers, give these people a fighting chance.

Especially the men. It was pretty easy to make money as a girl but guys had to do way more to get cash/dope. Boost, steer, hold dope, watch for "6", rip people off and whatever else they could do. To me, welfare just meant that I could count on all the GOOD dope dealers to be there in the morning, when usually they had shifts. There was the ones that came at 5am weekdays. Then the afternoon, evening and then midnight till about 3am... Not many in the middle of the night, it was just junkies and f*uck ups out then. You could still get dope but it had be from some room in a scummy/scary hotel or someone had something to sell on the street, etc. Not as easy to get it as in the daytime. Weekends were okay, but Sunday was the worst day to score. I still had some dial a dope #'s from before when I had a job and stuff, so I could call them, but the minimum was $20 and if all you had was ten bucks it would get you nothing.

_________________

There were the people I knew and the ones I just saw in passing. Those were the ones that were scary and tough and creepy, the men that would punch a girl for 5 bucks, the girls that would curb stomp a fellow female for her dope or for selling bunk dope, or the ones that I had heard rumors of them killing someone or other scary stuff.... I tried to steer clear of these individuals but eventually I would be introduced or had to buy dope from one of them as a last resort or they would want me to blank their blank for money/dope. I am not kidding when I tell you, I did take care of myself to a certain extent. More so than most of the other girls. I wasn't weird, not twitching an all that. I guess I was on the A Crew. HA.

Well, one of them spotted me one day when I was buying dope. It was summer, so I wasn't completely covered up, I am sure not in appropriate church attire....but not high boots and a shoelace on my chest. I must have had my track marks displayed like a badge of honor, gross. Anyways, his name (and I can't spell it) sounded like "PIE-YEW". I shudder as I type his name. He was hot, like really hot. Even some of the beautiful people (myself included, wink) end up downtown. He was hot (so what?) and I had heard "things" about him. He came up to me and was telling me I was good looking and how he wanted to do all sorts of disgraceful things to me. I wasn't engaging in the conversation really, I just wanted my f*cking dope and then be gone. I was all about just selling my ass for money to buy what I need. I didn't really have time to just hang out and do nothing most of the time. I can't make money doing nothing but he sort of took me as a hostage for the day. I was afraid to tell him I didn't want to go because he could kick me in the head or get some girl to do it if I messed with him.

He said we were going to his car and were going somewhere so he could **** the **** out of me, like as if that would be fun for me. We got to his car, which was obviously stolen. It was in mint condition and of course now I am worried that I am in a stolen car. I was so uncomfortable even just being around him. These are the type people that have nothing to lose and just go for shit and are totally unpredictable and are in and out of jail. They get what they want because they will knock your teeth out if they don't. There were males and females like this, there is in any social scene I guess. The girls were even worse. One of them actually went by "Teeth". I wonder where that name came from. Oh, he also told me that he had court in the next morning, and would I go w/ him. Why the f*ck would I do that? Because he told me to. I guess you could say I was under duress.

He is frantic and smoking crack as he drives (which is not an uncommon occurrence, but it was the car and him I was worried about). Finally he parks at the Hasting Steam and Sauna, which actually IS a sauna, but is kept in business by the girls and their dates. DON'T EVER GO THERE. Seriously, if you do, don't touch anything. I guarantee you if you had some of that crime scene spray that glows when it finds bodily fluids and then turned on a blue light, the place would light up.

They were closing the doors at the sauna, it was 9pm. Lame, now I still have to be with him, he is giving me dope that I HAVE to smoke and every time I do, I owe him money or sex, and it was very intimidating, he was very intimidating.

Eventually we ended up at the Regent. Me and him and this Asian girl. She was very pretty but she kept talking about stabbing people, totally talking trash. Scary. He didn't introduce me and they would talk and sometimes say things to me but I was quiet. I didn't know the people they knew - I didn't beat people up for fun.

Its getting later and later, and we end up back outside, I can't even remember what happened to the car. We were at Carnegie so I was kitty corner to the Police station and I found some comfort in that. We get outside and she says to me "Oh my God! I thought you were Anastasia!", which was his girlfriend I guess. So here I am with her home girl's bf and it seems like I am just doing his dope and being a whore. Now I am stressing cause if she didn't get me then for getting w/ him (which I didn't but that is what it looked like), she could find me later. I said to him, "look' I don't think I will be going to court with you" and he's like "oh, yeah?" and he let me go.

The thing is, he never let me settle our balance. He did dope w/ me and I didn't give him anything in return except lack of conversation. Everytime I saw him after that I was so stressed. If I came to buy dope and he was there and he was pissed off or had no money and was dope sick, then he could muscle mine away from me since I "owed" him.

I did run into him a few times, and one time he spotted me but was in a good mood and didn't say anything about anything. He actually rode his bike w/ me when I went to do my wack. I was much more relaxed since it was daytime. Then he casually told me I owed him $40. Relief, $40, I can do that.

But I never got a chance to pay him. He died, so I was told. He got jumped for scamming on some higher up, Columbia drug lords or something. I aged that night I spent w/ him.

Is this even interesting? I suppose people want to read about weird stuff, like someone paying me to have sex w/ a donkey or something. This is just all real life stuff. Not at all glamorous but quite predictable, just like any job. They paid me in dollars and then they stole my soul.