Tobias' Secret

Despite what the average person might think, it is not only unattractive, hurtin', greasy, slimy, dirty, perverted degenerates who are undeserving of sex from a "real" woman (that last bit was for you, Anonymous) that pay for the service of a prostitute. Hot guys pick them up too. Well, they picked me up anyways. From my perspective they may not even go into it looking for a prostitute and the first time it happens they may just drive by and see something they like and bang - their prostitution virginity is surrendered. And once it happens once...well.....most likely there will not be a first and only time. A first time, yes. An only time, not so much. Not that this is an absolute rule, nothing is absolute.

So, it was into my trap that a young, very attractive male flew unsuspectingly into my evil web one sunny summer day...mwah-ha-ha-ha!!! Actually, I was just on my usual corner when Toby had driven by in his work truck like he probably did all the time, making deliveries or whatever it was that he did with his vehicle. But this particular day was his lucky day.

He was a first timer, I could just tell. He drove by me and immediately pulled over to the side of the road just a bit past where I was. It was very obvious that it was a spontaneous decision. Guys that cruise for girls usually make the rounds....and then are all paranoid and go into the alley and wait for the girl there or something like that. But Toby just pulled right over and I ran to the truck and jumped right in.

His truck was one of those company vehicles with the big cube box on the back. Like I said, a delivery truck of some sort. Anyways, he drove to the end of the block pulled over and we just climbed right into the box from the front seat. Easy, peasy. He was very excited, he told me. I was attractive, I managed to maintain myself most of the time and had more of a regular girl vibe and less of a strung out on heroin/crack one. Of course, everyone has their good and bad days - and this was one of my good days. A tan always helps - it takes the sting out of the track marks perhaps.

We jumped into the back, I gave him a hummer AFTER he paid me and that was that. I got out, we said our farewells and went our separate ways. I was almost positive that I would see him again. I mentioned that he was attractive, hip, hot body and all that. He was the type of guy that I may have actually been intimate with in "real life" had I not been heroin/cocaine dependent, homeless, a prostitute and all other charming attributes that accompany life as I was living it. Toby would have had no problems getting girls but he would be back to see me, they usually do, accidentally or on purpose.

Weeks, maybe months passed. Toby had slipped into the recesses of my drug addled mind and the whole experience had been forgotten. I did end up seeing him again but it wasn't until after I had had my abscessed tooth.

Now, if you have ever had an infected tooth/severe tooth ache, you know how painful it is. Times that by one hundred due to the inconvenience that is added on top by severe drug addiction and malnutrition.

I can't even remember when the whole issue of tooth pain had reared it's ugly head, all I can recall right now is that suddenly it was there with a vengeance. One thing about drug addicts, anything can cause a hiccup in our daily routine but usually never is it worth actual attention, including any physical pain (other than the usual dope sickness pain). I would have to have been pretty near death in order to be forced to seek medical attention.

So, here I am a busy little working prostitute and I get a toothache. Big deal. But then it went beyond that once the swelling started...and grew and grew and make it literally impossible for me to even open my mouth. So how, may I ask, is a girl whose "bread and butter" depends on being able to perform magic whilst a penis is in her mouth supposed to make any money when she can hardly even open it enough accept even the ever necessary crack pipe? It was bad but at first I just adapted. Initially the swelling was just on the inside and I just had to explain to my dates that I wasn't able to give any hummers due to my toothache and most were understanding and accommodating. But eventually, as the days wore on, the swelling became so intense that half of my jaw was twice or three times the size of the other half. Horrible and ugly and made bl*w jobs impossible. (You would think that it would have been a turn off to pick up a girl that is so obviously in the midst of some sort of infection has obvious signs of physical "distress", but in situations like this there are always one's die hard regular dates that can be depended on. They are so in "love" with you or obsessed that even when I had been punched in the face and had my eye swelled shut it was no deterrent. It was business as usual for them). When it got to the point where I could not even stand it (the pain from my tooth) anymore and I HAD to get it taken care of, I called an ambulance for myself. I called 911 right from Carnegie. (I wrote a bit about this experience in my post entitled "Scammin' Round Two" - see it for a description on the way I was treated as a a patient who was also an addict.)

Turns out it was an abscessed tooth but it was not worth lancing (gross) so I was given a round of intravenous antibiotics and then eventually some pills to take orally. I got the pills only after the doctors there realized that the chance I was going to be able to show up daily for my IV antibiotics was slim to none...I mean, what junkie can be depended on to be anywhere at a certain time daily? Unless it relates to dope, getting dope, making money to get dope, etc.

As a result of my dental issues the swelling in my face took a while to go down. My pain was relieved after a few days on the meds but I still wasn't able to open my mouth properly for weeks. I just suffered through the discomfort. I was able to force my mouth open when necessary without telling my dates - very painful but doable.

When I again saw Mr. Toby it was a short time after the swelling had reduced but in the midst of my having to pry my mouth open for any required oral pleasure that my heroin addiction demanded that I perform.

Again, it was split second decision on his part, he happened to be driving by on Main street when he saw me and pulled over, right across the street from the Police station. He was in his car this time and he just drove to some random alley and we did our date there. Again, I was having to swallow (har har) my pain and make like everything was fine. We were not using a condom just like we hadn't the first time. I wish I could tell you we did, but we didn't.

I did what he paid me to do and when I removed him from my mouth there was blood all over him. I guess I had pushed my healing gums to the max that time or it had just ruptured after repeated abuse by my incessant ignorance of it needing to heal. He panicked. I didn't. I understand why he did though. Here was him, average guy that happens to decide to spontaneously pick up this good looking semi strung out appearing girl for a bl*w job and with this decision, and about 4 minutes, had changed his whole "life" or so he thought. Maybe. That was the question, wasn't it?

I tried to assure him that I was fine ( I mean, I could honestly tell him that I was not HIV positive or that I had anything - well, at the time I had no clue as to my being positive OR negative (I had never been clinically diagnosed with anything - not that I had even been to a doctor..), it is only after the fact that I can say it with conviction that I was HIV neg, but the hep c may well have been there then, there no way to know for sure). It must have been very scary for him.

But I bet you he didn't pick up any more prostitutes after that (I never saw him again) and I probably saved him lots of money too. He really should have thanked me because of it, which sort of cancels out any mistake he may or may not have made by picking me up in the first place or any wrong doing on my part by intentionally going ahead with "it" despite my healing medical condition. For the record, I had no idea that I was going to bleed on him and had I known I would have at least used a condom. Probably.

I am making light of a bad situation, I know that and I get no pleasure out of recanting this for you. I bet he never told anyone about this, it is the sort of thing one keeps to themselves and now the world knows his secret (or has access to it anyways).

Scammin' ROUND TWO

What I was planning on doing here was just tell you some of the things that the ladies of the night downtown in my hood did to get money from guys for nothing. Hereafter referred to as scammin' or ripped off. Got it?

I can't possibly number them one through ten (actually there will be only about 5 or 6 in my list) in the sense that no one is better than the other. They will be listed in no particular order.

I am condoning any of these methods, they are all very unsafe and not recommended to be tried by anyone, prostitute or no. Honesty is the best policy when selling oneself and in regards to securing your "safety" just blow the guy and get the money that way. Anyone who chooses to follow through and go against this recommendation is doing so at their own risk.

1. Simply put, the girl just doesn't do the date. She gets in the car, he thinks all is a go..but when they get to the place to do the date she pulls out some mace or a dirty needle or even some rusty box cutter and tells the guy that he can either give her the money or...it will be..bad. They don't want to be stabbed with an HIV tainted needle (which is of course what is threatened when the needle is presented) and they don't want to be maced (who does) and I know from experience that being stabbed with any kind of dirty utensil can give you a serious infection* (see below).

2. The girl tells the guy some bullsh*t story like her boyfriend is watching and has his license plate number or that if he doesn't hand over the money she will scream and call rape or something and then the cops will show up and well, you know. Again, that would be bad. I was told by one date that the first time he picked up a prostitute she told him that she was an undercover cop and to give her all his money. And he did. Idiot, I can't imagine HOW a drug infested, homeless, street urchin could be a police officer but as I have mentioned before, these guys are sooo paranoid about getting busted that anything can shake them.

Some guys are smarter than others though and call the girl's bluff and take her right to the police station and she gets out running once they get there.

3. Some girls have an elaborate scheme worked out that requires more than one player. I heard from one dope dealer that he paired up with this girl and when she was in the predetermined date spot he would pull up in a Crown Victoria (this is the standard vehicle type cops and undercover cops drive), right behind them, and the girl would make like it was the fuzz. The "date" would then take off and she would get out with the $$. It is customary to get the money first, before anything sexual happens between the girl and her date, which is why this particular scenario worked out well for them. He helped her because once she had the $$ he knew she would be buying the dope from him, etc. The circle of life, Main and Hastings style. This one in particular make me laugh because of the car. Brilliant.

Also, what happened to me was once I was in a van w/ one of my "boyfriends" and we were in the back smoking crack and I guess this guy walking by had heard us in there. He knocks on the window and tells us that he is going to call the cops because he knows what we are doing. BUT unbeknown to HIM it wasn't a date/sex selling situation so even if he did call the cops all we were doing was smoking crack and well, his threats didn't bother us.

My BF yelled through the door that I was his girlfriend blahblahblah, and this guy still pretended to call the cops on his bogus cell phone that probably didn't even work. Eventually he walked away, but my point is, this is another way of pulling a fast one on some unsuspecting guy. Get in the car, make like you will do the date - and then have your "boyfriend" or some concerned "citizen" bang on the vehicle and this of course makes the guys freak and the girl gets the $$ without doing the date. Of course, because it is more than her pulling this off the money has to be shared.

4. Another easy one I have heard about is acting weird. She gets in the car and seems all normal and not wigged out, but then once the deal is struck she pretends to be all tweaky by twitching and pretending to look for crack on the floor or something like that. Usually the guy wants her out of the car so bad that he just GIVES her the money so then she will go.

5. A variation on #4 is to tell the guy you have a condom but then when you get there, mysteriously..you can't find it. Some guys (NOT ALL) will not do it without a condom. She has already gotten the money so she wins. You never give the money back once you have it in your hands. I did once..I gave back some but not all, but that story is for another day. An it was in no way a similar situation to this one.

5. Do dope in the car. I personally never did this unless it was already established that it was okay to do so. It is so retarded how most guys that pick up girls out there seem to pretend to themselves that we are not buying drugs with our money. Why else would we be doing it? They exploit and prey on us because of our desperation..but they don't like to address it head on by acknowledging that we get high. So, if some girl pulls out her crack pipe and lights up - he spazzes and the date is over.

6. Once the guy has paid and then pulls down his pants (this can just be pulled off in a vehicle, I guess) the girl can simply jump out and run...what is buddy gonna do? He has to pull 'em up before he starts the car and all that. OR another modification is to get him w/ his trousers down and then demand his wallet coupled with some sort of threat to his well being or to his all important appendage.

For some reason this makes me think of Vince the Shamwow/Slapchop guy and the mugshot I saw online of him after he had gotten into a fight w/ a prostitute. How he tells it she bit his tongue, so he kicked her ass but who knows if that is actually what happened.. maybe she threatened with outing him cause he is a celebrity in the infomercial world or maybe he is just an agro prick that was jacked up on coke. He SEEMS (from I have seen of him on TV)

like someone that is into coke. This actually is a perfect example of how ridiculous the movie "Pretty Woman" is. Julia Roberts is all "no kissing, it's too personal" and in real life girls are like "I will kiss you or whatever the f*ck else you want me to do if the price is right".

There is a million more ways to rip guys off, I am sure, but these are the ones that come to my mind at this moment. Sometimes I feel like I am writing a how-to book, but as you must know, these scams do not always end with the girls getting the money - sometimes she can end up bruised, battered or just with no money.

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Footnote* One time I cut myself with my crack pipe. This isn't an uncommon occurrence. You can buy a crack pipe from a store (yes, have you ever seen those little glass tubes at the corner store that have those pretty little multicolored roses in them?? Well, that is a crack pipe not an expression of love) or you can buy a pipe from specific people in the dope zone that only sell pipes as a way to support their habit. This is always more convenient because it already has the brillo in it and all that. BUT ANYWAYS...you can buy these pipes and sometimes you need to break them to make them shorter or you may have to break after you have them awhile because they crack and get jagged edges.

So, I used to always break my pipes with my fingers. Just grab a sharp edge and yank on it and then use the cement as a file and try to smooth the edges. I did this all the time..but one time I did this and it was bad. I cut myself, which raised no alarm, BUT after three hours I felt like I had a serious sliver in my left pointing finger. Okay fine, no big deal...but the pain got worse and worse and worse and eventually my finger was three times the normal size and was red as beet. It was so amazingly painful. Up until that time it was the most pain I had experienced in my life.

At the time I was staying at my parents house but would still manage to get away sometimes which is when I had done the crack pipe buying and breaking. It was back at the house that it became unbearable. I tried running it under cold water (it was burning hot) and that didn't help and even the slightest breeze on it made me scream. My step mum took me to the walk in clinic in Coquitlam and the stupid doctor there ended up sending me to get X-rays. I had to tell him I was a junkie as it was pretty important to the story, but once he knew this, he didn't believe me when I told him I hadn't sprained my finger. But of course, my word counts for nothing because I am just a junkie, I guess. I spent 4 wasted hours writhing in agony waiting 4 hours for my x-rays to be taken.

We had to go all the way downtown to a clinic doctor there who knew right away what it was..he gave me a 'script and that was that. It took 4 weeks to heal and if you look close you can still see the skin's stretch marks on my finger from when it was swollen. A normal person would also be given a prescription for pain meds but not for us dope addicts..no, no, no. We had to tough it out.

Once I had an abscess tooth and had to call 911 for an ambulance for MYSELF and at the hospital the doctors only gave me medication for the tooth nothing for the pain. Well, they gave me dilaudid 2mg. Great, the smallest dosage known to man and they did nothing to alleviate my pain. My face was like 3 times its normal size on one size but it didn't matter. I shouldn't have told them I was an addict but of course they knew. They picked me up from Carnegie (central location for people such as myself, addicts and all that). Also, another indicator was the fact that any normal person would have gone to the doctor way sooner...but not a junkie. No way, we wait until we feel like we were going to f*cking die from the pain..THEN we will get it checked out. I knew a few people that lost limbs that way, due to abscesses that were treated too late.

Yeah, those stupid dilaudid twos....sigh.. I couldn't even break 'em down and shoot them. It would have been a waste of a new rig.

Something else: I searched Google images for the picture of the dilaudid 2mg pills and (this just struck me as amusing) I ended up on the website for the DEA.

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