Those crazy junkies

Not everything is a story, just a memory.

When I was first out on the street I didn't realize that I was making the transition from ME, into a full fledged prostitute. One day I went to buy dope at Carnegie, and one of the Spanish dope dealers was asking me about "work". I was totally confused. Then, I started thinking he wanted to go on an actual date w/ me. THEN, I figured it out and said no. I hadn't had any sexual dealings w/ any of the dope sellers yet, I didn't know that I was gonna be paid in dope and all that. So naive, tsk, tsk.

Of course, before long I had managed to knock them out one by one. But never him, and he was the best looking one. I never did dates with ones that sold the shitty dope. I would have rather give a hummer to a stranger that picked me up, get paid and buy good dope. The dealer's w/ the bad dope were like the B crew. The good dope sellers were the "A crew".

The A crew paid very well too and were always in a hurry. Usually they would pay for a room and the date would be done in ten minutes. He would pay me with bunch of dope, a bit of money then I would get the room for the rest of the hour. Though, I will admit I have done many things (things my Father would not approve of) in some back alley doorways. (Yeah, it is intense but that is what happens). Then once you go w/ one of them, they discuss it w/ their amigos and suddenly your dance card is filled.

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I had acquaintances or "friends' (not friends at all) that I would hang w/ in passing during mutual alley way drug consumption, or just on the street on a curb somewhere. I mean, you do hang out w/ people. It is very much a social scene. You may go to someone's room to eat, to get a rig, etc. You do end up spending time w/ people, some days more than others. But it was CRAZY on welfare day. I wasn't actually ON welfare, though I could have been. I had no interest in something that would take so much of my time, having to find some ID, and all the hoops you must jump through in order to receive it.

Welfare day was like Mardis Gras but it only lasted a day. Even the hurting individuals hire girls to have sex, but it would never happen. They and I would do their dope, they would get weird and then it was over. I hated taking their money because I always knew what was gonna happen. This one time I was "hired" by this guy that was in a wheel chair. He looks exactly like Lieutenant Dan from Forest Gump. He got more money from the gov't cause he had disability, and he had bought tons of dope and then just wanted to hang out. You would think that it would be a good date (sometimes being naked may be a part of it- but I wouldn't have to do much else). It was really sad being around those type people. Their lives must be all about that one day a month. Most of the hotels won't allow visitors in rooms on that day beause of the dope doing. I often wonder how one can be considered an addict when they only use once a month. I know they must have used more but it would not have been a lot.

But the thing is... if the person not on disability had a room then their rent portion went straight to their landlord and they were left w/ about $180. If they were homeless they got only their shelter portion and that is it. Again, $180. It was so sad, their money would be gone very quickly and they wouldn't buy or anything else besides dope. The dope sellers would set up shop RIGHT OUTSIDE the cheque cashing place so the masses had no chance of even trying to keep the money for anything else. That used to piss me off. Come on you prick dope sellers, give these people a fighting chance.

Especially the men. It was pretty easy to make money as a girl but guys had to do way more to get cash/dope. Boost, steer, hold dope, watch for "6", rip people off and whatever else they could do. To me, welfare just meant that I could count on all the GOOD dope dealers to be there in the morning, when usually they had shifts. There was the ones that came at 5am weekdays. Then the afternoon, evening and then midnight till about 3am... Not many in the middle of the night, it was just junkies and f*uck ups out then. You could still get dope but it had be from some room in a scummy/scary hotel or someone had something to sell on the street, etc. Not as easy to get it as in the daytime. Weekends were okay, but Sunday was the worst day to score. I still had some dial a dope #'s from before when I had a job and stuff, so I could call them, but the minimum was $20 and if all you had was ten bucks it would get you nothing.

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There were the people I knew and the ones I just saw in passing. Those were the ones that were scary and tough and creepy, the men that would punch a girl for 5 bucks, the girls that would curb stomp a fellow female for her dope or for selling bunk dope, or the ones that I had heard rumors of them killing someone or other scary stuff.... I tried to steer clear of these individuals but eventually I would be introduced or had to buy dope from one of them as a last resort or they would want me to blank their blank for money/dope. I am not kidding when I tell you, I did take care of myself to a certain extent. More so than most of the other girls. I wasn't weird, not twitching an all that. I guess I was on the A Crew. HA.

Well, one of them spotted me one day when I was buying dope. It was summer, so I wasn't completely covered up, I am sure not in appropriate church attire....but not high boots and a shoelace on my chest. I must have had my track marks displayed like a badge of honor, gross. Anyways, his name (and I can't spell it) sounded like "PIE-YEW". I shudder as I type his name. He was hot, like really hot. Even some of the beautiful people (myself included, wink) end up downtown. He was hot (so what?) and I had heard "things" about him. He came up to me and was telling me I was good looking and how he wanted to do all sorts of disgraceful things to me. I wasn't engaging in the conversation really, I just wanted my f*cking dope and then be gone. I was all about just selling my ass for money to buy what I need. I didn't really have time to just hang out and do nothing most of the time. I can't make money doing nothing but he sort of took me as a hostage for the day. I was afraid to tell him I didn't want to go because he could kick me in the head or get some girl to do it if I messed with him.

He said we were going to his car and were going somewhere so he could **** the **** out of me, like as if that would be fun for me. We got to his car, which was obviously stolen. It was in mint condition and of course now I am worried that I am in a stolen car. I was so uncomfortable even just being around him. These are the type people that have nothing to lose and just go for shit and are totally unpredictable and are in and out of jail. They get what they want because they will knock your teeth out if they don't. There were males and females like this, there is in any social scene I guess. The girls were even worse. One of them actually went by "Teeth". I wonder where that name came from. Oh, he also told me that he had court in the next morning, and would I go w/ him. Why the f*ck would I do that? Because he told me to. I guess you could say I was under duress.

He is frantic and smoking crack as he drives (which is not an uncommon occurrence, but it was the car and him I was worried about). Finally he parks at the Hasting Steam and Sauna, which actually IS a sauna, but is kept in business by the girls and their dates. DON'T EVER GO THERE. Seriously, if you do, don't touch anything. I guarantee you if you had some of that crime scene spray that glows when it finds bodily fluids and then turned on a blue light, the place would light up.

They were closing the doors at the sauna, it was 9pm. Lame, now I still have to be with him, he is giving me dope that I HAVE to smoke and every time I do, I owe him money or sex, and it was very intimidating, he was very intimidating.

Eventually we ended up at the Regent. Me and him and this Asian girl. She was very pretty but she kept talking about stabbing people, totally talking trash. Scary. He didn't introduce me and they would talk and sometimes say things to me but I was quiet. I didn't know the people they knew - I didn't beat people up for fun.

Its getting later and later, and we end up back outside, I can't even remember what happened to the car. We were at Carnegie so I was kitty corner to the Police station and I found some comfort in that. We get outside and she says to me "Oh my God! I thought you were Anastasia!", which was his girlfriend I guess. So here I am with her home girl's bf and it seems like I am just doing his dope and being a whore. Now I am stressing cause if she didn't get me then for getting w/ him (which I didn't but that is what it looked like), she could find me later. I said to him, "look' I don't think I will be going to court with you" and he's like "oh, yeah?" and he let me go.

The thing is, he never let me settle our balance. He did dope w/ me and I didn't give him anything in return except lack of conversation. Everytime I saw him after that I was so stressed. If I came to buy dope and he was there and he was pissed off or had no money and was dope sick, then he could muscle mine away from me since I "owed" him.

I did run into him a few times, and one time he spotted me but was in a good mood and didn't say anything about anything. He actually rode his bike w/ me when I went to do my wack. I was much more relaxed since it was daytime. Then he casually told me I owed him $40. Relief, $40, I can do that.

But I never got a chance to pay him. He died, so I was told. He got jumped for scamming on some higher up, Columbia drug lords or something. I aged that night I spent w/ him.

Is this even interesting? I suppose people want to read about weird stuff, like someone paying me to have sex w/ a donkey or something. This is just all real life stuff. Not at all glamorous but quite predictable, just like any job. They paid me in dollars and then they stole my soul.